Dad jokes for kids.

My nine year old today: “Dad, what did one frog say to the other frog?”

Time’s fun when you’re having flies!

What animal has more lives than the cat?

The frog. It croaks every night.

Did you hear that story about a pig turning into a cow when it was cleaned?

Well, you didn't, because it's hogwash.

What do Italian parents tell there children when they stay up late?

It's pasta your bedtime.

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a chicken and met a girl dressed as an egg

An age old question was answered, the chicken

This man was about to throw dough, cheese, and tomatoes at me

I said, You wanna pizza me?

Why can’t T-Rexes clap their hands?

Because they're extinct

What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show?

A Cat-has-trophy!

What songs do bad guys like to sing

Nursery crimes My 5 year old just made this up!

My five year old told me this one today: what has four arms and four legs?

A monster!

Which pets are the most affordable ones?

Birds. They are pretty cheep.

Did you hear that the cheese shop burned down?

All that was left was a pile of de-Brie.

Which bear is the most condescending?

A pan-duh.

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil.

I wasn’t sure what kind of cheese to get at the grocery store.

I decided to be neutral and go Swiss.

What bird can't fly in a straight line?

A tern

What do you call a flock of sheep falling down a hill?

A lambslide

Instead of having a lucky message inside my food, I had 4 pieces of music

It was a four-tune cookie.

My uncle, dad of 9, just sent me this one

Your vet won't tell you this, but if your dog is running a fever, get it some ketchup. It really is the best thing for a hot dog.

What do you call the horse next door?

A neigh-bor!

Where do cows go on Vacation

Moo-York

What drink is most dangerous to cats?

Curiousi-tea

Most people don't know cows can sing.

But they make beautiful mooosick

What do you do when a sheep is unconscious?

Start Sheep-P-R