Dad jokes for work.

I had an interview at a logging company that went really well!

So well, that they went ahead and made me the branch manager.

what did the boss of the unfinished pottery store tell their employee?

You’re fired!

I just got fired from my job at a keyboard factory.

All I did was take a shift off...

My boss asked if I like working remote.

I said yes. It makes it easy to pause my shows for meetings.

Just got back from a job interview where I was asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said I wasn’t too sure about that but I could do a wicked “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

I considered straightening the margins on that 100 page document.

But I couldn’t justify that amount of work.

I got fired from the bank today

A woman asked me to check her balance So I pushed her.

I don't think I'll ever find a stable job.

Because honestly, I'm not that comfortable around horses.

Told my boss I needed a raise. Three other companies are after me.

He said, " fine what companies?" I said, " gas, electric, and cable

My nephew needed a job, so I told him to apply for the Search and Rescue Team.

They’re always looking for someone.

Peter gets a job

One day Peter rings his mum, all excited he says "Mum, I got a job with the World Health Organisation!" She replies: "The who?"

I was annoyed when I found out there's a COLA in my job contract.

I clearly told my recruiter that I wanted a PEPSI.

I had to reset the password for my work computer, so I tried BeefStew. It wasn’t allowed because….

It wasn’t Stroganoff

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"

I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"

It’s OK if you miss a day at the blanket factory.

I’ll cover for you.

I spend all day slaving away at a watch repair shop.

Guess you could say I'm always working overtime!

What game do most of us play during working hours?

Call Of Duty :’)

When my dad was on his deathbed, he said to me, "Son, I'm leaving my company to you. Try not to do something stupid with it like you always do!"

Even in his final hour, he was really givin' me the business.

Why Did the Puma Shoe Company leave the Lingerie Business?

No one wanted Puma Panties.

My email password got hacked again

It's the third time I've had to rename my dog

Whats the most unhonest company?

Disney. They’re a lion king.

Telling corny dad jokes isn’t my main gig.

It’s just a sigh job.

I arrived a bit early for my dinner reservation and the manager asked, “Do you mind waiting a bit?” I said, “Not at all.”

“Good,” she said, “Take these drinks to Table 9.”

Why is catcher the best position in baseball?

You get to work from home.